This week’s post is a personal one inspired by all the people who’ve written to me saying that they wish they could start their own Blog but don’t think they’re smart enough, pretty enough, a good enough writer, etc. Friends and insta-friends have asked me how I found the confidence to start a beauty and lifestyle blog in my 30’s when the fashion/beauty blogging industry overall is dominated by women a decade younger than me. At the end of the day it comes down the fact that I value myself and I believe that the information that I have is valuable enough to share with others.
But truth be told, I didn’t always feel this way about myself. My early 20’s were defined by bad decisions that stemmed from insecurity following a break-up with my Mr. Big. [Sex in the CIty ref] Our whirlwind romance in NYC, Paris and The Hamptons was everything I’d ever wanted…until it wasn’t. Following the end of that relationship I found myself the same situation over and over again with the wrong guys and the wrong friends. I drank way too much because I felt so insecure with who I was and numbing that feeling with alcohol was easier than facing what I had to fix.
The first step in changing the direction of my life was trading in my big city lifestyle to move to a college town in North Carolina. As much as I loved New York City (it was home) I knew deep down that I wasn’t the best version of myself there. I applied to business school in North Carolina, and when I got accepted I started packing my bags. As always with big changes there were doubts and plenty of people who had negative things to say. I was afraid too but I knew that I couldn’t spend another year of my life the way I had been living.
When I got to North Carolina things were bumpy at first and for a minute it looked like I had moved 500 miles to be in exactly the same place. But then things changed. I really “dug in” to work and school and I started meeting really great people – people who saw the best in me and thought I was smart and beautiful and funny. I met my maid of honor, my mentor and business parter, and my husband within the first year of living in Chapel Hill.
Surrounding myself with the right people made all the difference for me. I felt better about myself so I drank less and no longer responded to messages from people who really didn’t care about me or have my best interests at heart. Even though we left Chapel Hill after a few years to move to Charlotte, the confidence and sense of self-worth that I learned there have stayed with me. I have the most incredible group of friends in Charlotte and the best people in my life. My husband has been my rock for the past decade and when I mentioned that I wanted to start a Blog, he supported me 100%.
So my advice for anyone wanting to pursue a dream (starting a Blog, building a business, moving to another country) is to be around people who see the best in you even before you see it in yourself. You believe in your dreams and you deserve to be with people who believe in them too. There will always be a reason not to go for it if you let yourself think that way. There will always be someone younger, smarter, richer, prettier but there is only one of you. You are valuable and your dreams have value so find the confidence to chase them.